Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Christmas Part 2

Really this is how Christmas began, but it is my second installment. There was a time in my life when I loved to fly. That was before I spent 2- 4 weekends a month flying between New York and Texas for three months. I now begin to dread it as soon as I book the trip. I usually fly by Murphy's Law. It looked like this trip would be no different. We arrived at the airport to discover that 1) we had no assigned seats and 2) there were not seats together. Erin went to the desk to see what the best available situation was. After a few minutes she was called to the desk. The best thing they could do for us we were told was to give us seats in 1st class. Hmmm, well I guess if there was no other choice, right. Now I haven't flown 1st class for about 20 years so I had forgotten how much nicer it is. We entered the plane with the offer to hang our coats as our carryons were stowed for us. The coach passengers were constantly reminded that there was not room in the overhead bins for their coats, purses or small bags. While the other travelers sat knees in their chest drinking their one complimentary beverage and were given the option of purchasing overpriced snacks, we were served unlimited drinks and warm nuts. While the passengers in coach were asked if they would like a plastic cup of cool water, we were asked if we preferred chicken picatta or artichoke ravioli for dinner. By the time we landed, I had to rethink how I felt about flying. If I had the money or option to always fly 1st class, I think I would learn to love flying again.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas Part 1

There is so much to write about this Christmas that I will have to make several entries to cover it all. I think I will start with the most fun.

I have the best brother -in-law. He is a devoted husband and father. He was so good to my mother during her final years,went way beyond the call of duty. He has always been there for me and my kids. He is probably the most easy going person I know. All that having been said, he loves Christmas and wants all those around him to enjoy it just as much. He spends weeks decorating his house inside and out. Lights on the outside flash in time to music. Almost every flat surface inside holds parts of his extensive Christmas village. I'm sure that he played a big hand in decorating the multiple trees. Despite the fact that his greatest love (besides family) is sports, it is all tastefully done.

With this much Christmas spirit coursing through his veins, I wasn't surprised that he purchased enough generous gift cards for each of his nieces and nephews (who were in attendance) to play a white elephant game with them. The next day he dressed as Santa and allowed everyone including my crazy brother to take a turn on his knee. Finally, the day wrapped up with everyone being given a pair of reindeer antlers for our special family photos.

I know it seems like I cannot talk about holidays without reflecting on my parents, but throughout the celebration I couldn't help but think about the lengths my father went to when someone wanted a Santa. He would have appreciated the take on his tradition of giving the next generation a chance to fight over gifts or gift cards. The reindeer antler family photos were something my mother would have loved! Even though it goes against what in reality I believe, I like to think that they were watching from somewhere, shaking their heads, smiling and saying something like, "That Stan, thank goodness Gaye found him." I do have the best brother-in-law.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Christmas Teacher

Today is both a day that I look forward to and dread. As a teacher this day means the last day before Winter Break, a much needed break for most if not all teachers. For me it is also a day that I dread. It's the day that some children will bring me Christmas presents. It's a difficult day. There will usually be two or three children who will bring useful gifts like a gift card or... well that's about it. There will be the children who will bring something like a stuffed animal, gift set of something vanilla scented, a glass flower or space storage bags. Yep, got those this year and not the ones that you hook a vacuum up to. But then there are the children who have nothing to give. There are some who don't really care that they didn't give the teacher a gift. There are others that tell me they wanted to bring me a gift but... The ones that really break my heart are the ones that tell me that they got me a gift but they forgot to bring it. They assure me that I will get it when we return from the break. Of course there is no gift. I'm not sure if they are hoping to come up with something before they return to school or they are just hoping I will forget, which I do. My heart aches for them. No matter how often I tell them that making me a card is a gift from the heart or maybe a tea bag so I can think about them when I am enjoying my morning tea over the break, there will always be the givers and the wanna be givers.

I would like to think I have become really good over the years at making a child feel that their gift was just what I wanted, although it was a little hard with the storage bag things this year. But I just can't seem to handle the wanna be's. I asked another teacher this year how she handles it. She told me that she never opens the gifts in front of the students. Now maybe it's a southern thing, but that just seems rude not to let the giver see the pleasure on your face when you pull out their carefully chosen gift. But I thought I would give it a try. When I thanked my students for bringing the gifts and told them that I couldn't wait to open them on Christmas day I was met with shouts of "Open them now, open them now!" So that didn't work. I don't know, is there a better way to handle it short of lying and telling them that it is against my religion to accept gifts? I did try telling my students one year that they should buy a gift for the forgotten faculty instead of me like the librarian, school nurse or counselors. That didn't work either. The ones that brought gifts just had to buy an extra gift for one of the others. So is there a way to just enjoy the day for what it is, the last day before Winter Break?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Yesterday we finally had our first real snow of the year. The forecast had warned of a winter storm hitting sometime after midnight on Friday morning. When we woke to 36 degrees and partly cloudy skies, I was sure that the storm had just not materialized. I should have depended on more than just aol before decided what to wear to work. The clothes I decided on were fine, as was the coat, but I foolishly did not chose snow boots for my feet. The storm finally hit around noon. By the end of the day there was about 3 inches of snow on the ground and it was starting to sleet. There was no way that I was going to allow Erin to come pick me up as I could already see fender-benders from my classroom window. I had three choices. Take a cab, not worth the money. Take the bus, 2 hours on a dirty bus with loud obnoxious teens, nope. Take the train. Even though it meant going the opposite direction of home to catch one going the right direction and even though it would take at least 2 hours to get to my home that is 15 miles from work, it was the best choice. It was a much better choice than the shoes I was wearing. The first step outside the building sent me scrambling to grab a railing in order not to fall. The entire walk to the train I looked like someone who was trying to ice skate for the first time. As soon as I safely made it to the train, I called Erin and told her that she would have to meet me at the bottom of the hill on which we live. There was no way I could make it to the top without a pair of boots. So 2 1/2 hours later I was greeted by a little red sled that contained the cutest little snow bunny and boots.

Once I was in the appropriate shoes the fun began. Alivia definitely loves cold weather. We spent about an hour letting her sled down the hill. When Erin and I were completely frozen we decided it was time to take her in. OMG how that child can throw a tatrum. She did not want to leave the snow. Later when we discovered that we were missing some important ingredients for dinner, it was back into the sled for a trip to the store. How much fun! What child wouldn't love to live in a place where you go to the store by sled. The only drawback was that we had to deal with the tantrum again when we returned home. Maybe after a few days and when she realizes that the snow will (hopefully) still be there when she goes back outside, she will just learn to enjoy it in small doses.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Cake Balls

I love to cook. I love getting compliments on my cooking, until this week. The 5th grade at my school sponsors several bake sales each year to raise money for the 5th grade trip. Being a supportive faculty member, I always donate baked goods. Recently, I read a post by Elyse about her experience making 'cake balls' and decided I would give them a try. Within a few minutes of the bake sale beginning, teachers began dropping by my room to compliment me on the treats I had made. Some even insisted that I had not made them. All asked for the recipe. On day two of the sale, I took another batch. Teachers actually began arguing over who would get to buy them. Erin had done such a wonderful job of decorating them that one Jewish teacher insisted on buying all the balls that were decorated for Chanukah. Although I was glad that everyone appreciated what I had made, I have to admit that their compliments bordered on the annoying. I eventually gave out the recipe to all who asked and decided that in the future, I would stick to simple cupcakes. If you're interesed, you can find the recipe on Elyse's blog. There is a link on my profile page.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

It's Christmas Time In the City

Yesterday was our 3rd annual Christmas celebration, me, Albert, Megan and Maria. This year we decided that instead of exchanging gifts, we would treat ourselves to dinner and a show. The night began with dinner at our favorite restaurant in the city, Carmine's. It is a family style Italian restaurant in the theater district. Reservations usually require about two months notice, but it's not impossible to get in within a reasonable length of time without a reservation. The food was amazing as usual. We did decide that in the future if we were ordering off the menu, we would ask for the price too. But it is Christmas and we were celebrating. After dinner we took a frosty stroll to Rockefeller Center to gaze upon the most famous Christmas tree in the world. I really do love Christmas in New York. The area abounds with Santa's, life-size muppets and cartoon characters come to life. Of course it wouldn't be New York if there weren't vendors selling all the usual along with hot roasted nuts and Christmas wear. When we were thoroughly frozen, we found, of all things, a Starbucks! After warming up over a pumpkin latte, we continued on to the theater to see Hairspray. This was the second time I had seen it, but by far a better show. Harvey Fierstein owns the role of Edna, sorry Norm. By the time we got on the train to return home, another wonderful Christmas memory had been made with some equally wonderful friends. It is a most wonderful time of the year.
Marissa Jaret Winokur

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Field Trips

Although I could complain about the events surrounding today's field trip, I wouldn't want to diminish the fabulousness of the show itself. So, I will not address that, for now at least.


Elementary age children in the New York City school system cannot imagine how lucky they are when it comes to field trips. When my children were in elementary school, we looked forward to a field trip to Buttercrust Bakery where the children were given a piece of bread fresh from the oven. When I taught elementary school we went on two trips each year. One trip was to a ropes course and the other was to a grocery store. In the past two and a half years in New York I have taken my students to the Bronx Zoo, Botanical Gardens, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Whitney Museum, Science Museum, History Museum of New York and live theater to name a few. The 5th graders attend a Broadway show each year. Today we went to a performance by the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. It was amazing. I love dance and aside from anything that my own children have done, this was the best dance performance I have ever seen. Even the children who do not know enough about dance to appreciate it from that aspect were amazed by the athleticism of the dancers. There are so many reasons that I love living in New York. Being the person to introduce children to the fine arts through internationally known artists is one of the best reasons to want to stay.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

My Crush

Whether or not they will admit it, everyone has had a crush on a celebrity at one time or another. When I was a child, it was Jimmy Stewart. When I was a teenager, it was Bobby Sherman and Davy Jones. When I was a young adult, it was William Katt. I never completely got over that crush. I have played party games with friends over the years where questions like: "If you could kiss, marry, spend one night with...anyone in the world, who would it be?" My answer was always the same, William Katt. Sometimes the listener(s) didn't know who I was talking about. When I said the guy from Carrie or The Greatest American Hero they usually know who he is. They are usually amazed that he is the one. It was when I saw Big Wednesday that it happened. He was the epitome of the guy I always wanted to be with. The characters' lives growing up in a southern California surfing town during the Vietnam era were not that different from mine growing up on the south Texas coast at about the same time. I even have a VERY memorable and not all together pleasant memory of a trip to Mexico. After seeing it, I became a true fan. I saw everything he ever did; The House, First Love, Baby Secret of the Lost Legend and Butch and Cassidy the Early Years were a few of my favorites. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would meet him. So add one more reason to why I LOVE living in New York. I met him today! He is every bit as gorgeous as I thought he would be, but I never could have imagined how nice he would be. He posed for not one, but two pictures. Even Brandon who has not missed an opportunity to make fun of my crush and my friend Anthony had to admit that he is an amazingly nice guy. How great is it to actually meet your celebrity idol and find out that he is everything you had hope he would be. I gush!

Friday, December 5, 2008

What A Week

With the economy being what it is, I have a real fear of a teacher lay-off. That would really suck as this is the year I should get tenure. My students this year seem to be especially difficult to teach. Everyone is on edge and not just at work. It's scary to see how many businesses are closing their doors or down sizing. It's hard to find much to be happy about this holiday season. This has been an especially stressful week as I was worrying about money and got a very expensive parking ticket, so I decided to make a list of things that have made me smile this week.

1. Alivia - many times, but just tonight as she went into the kitchen and came out carrying a bathroom scale
2. Erin - watching Erin at dress rehearsal last night for their show Saturday
3. My Daughters - listening to them talk on the phone as they plot against me and share secrets like true sisters
4. Last Year's Students - as they performed ballroom dancing in a program this week and came to my room the day before to make sure I was going to be at the program
5. The Weatherman - when he reported that we could have up to 3 inches of snow this weekend
6. The Guy a Target - when he told me that I had beautiful eyes (too bad he was about 18 years old)
7. Old Navy - for putting coats on 50% off so that I could buy a badly needed down filled, but not overly filled jacket
8. Breakfast Club - for not serving anything that would compel me to really blow my diet

Looking back over the list, it is a little sparse. It does remind me that however few, I have had some moments to smile about.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

After the Feast

I had food poisoning once about 20 years ago. My then husband and I had eaten dinner at a country club in San Antonio at the end of a tournament he had played in. It was the sickest I had ever been. The culprit was beef tips and I've never eaten them since. I have always been a little fearful since then of picnic and holiday food. It never stopped me from eating, but I was very conscious of how I was feeling for several hours after eating. After a late Thanksgiving lunch we settled in to watch one of the dozen Christmas movies I had lined up for the day while we waited for the UT v. A&M game to begin. Seven hours after dinner, the game began. UT never gave A&M a chance and I was already drifting off to sleep as the game ended feeling content to have had some of my family with me for the day and a victory over the Aggies. Less than an hour after falling asleep it happened. Without going into the gruesome details let it suffice to say I was as sick as I have ever been. Unlike the first time though I was running a high fever, had chills and no one else was sick. A few hours into my misery Erin informed me that I was experiencing the exact same symptoms she had experienced last week in Texas. Forty-hours later, the symptoms are gone, but the thought of even looking at leftovers brings on a wave of nausea. In fact, I cannot imagine ever eating any of the holidays foods I love again. It's sad to think that it could happen, but on the other hand, maybe I could get through Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners without gaining weight.

Alivia can have my share.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Eve



Thanksgiving it seems has become a day of firsts for me. Three years ago was the first Thanksgiving I had ever spent without my family. They were in Texas and I was in New York. A dear friend invited me to spend the day with him and his family. They live in Yonkers and are Puerto Rican/Chinese. The meal was interesting and delicious, but it didn't seem like Thanksgiving. Last year was my first Thanksgiving as a grandmother and the first without my mother either in person or on the other end of the phone telling how to prepare my food. It was only made bearable by the presence of my daughters and granddaughter. This Thanksgiving will be the first year that Elyse will not be with family and only the second time that I have not been with her. I plan to cook a meal for 10 even though there will only be 3 1/2 of us. The meal will be minus a few of the standards, but will include macaroni and cheese, a new tradition added last year in honor of Alivia. This year she will even get to eat it. I am hoping that by spending the day in the kitchen I will not have time to dwell on the people in my life that I am missing. I am hoping that I will focus on the things I have to be thankful for; a healthy family, a job, living in a place I love, good friends and I am for the most part healthy. I am writing this tonight so I can feel sad now and hopefully not tomorrow, because tomorrow is Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

13

I am not one to want to see the same Broadway show over and over again. If the show is good, and the cast changes, I would see a show more than once. I did see A Chorus Line 3 times, but only because I had visitors from out of state and a group of friends wanted me to go with them for a night out. I saw Boeing, Boeing when the cast changed. Tonight I saw 13 for the third time in as many months. Furthermore, if the chance arrives before its January 4th closing, I will see it again. The show is great. The story line good. The singing amazing. However, the thing that makes it stand out is the fact that the actors and musicians are teenagers, incredibly talented teenagers. I am so sorry that it is closing, because there are several people I would love to have see it and unlike movies, you can't rent it to see later. I am sure that all these young people will continue to have great careers in theater if that is what they want. Good luck 13! Is that redundant or an oxymoron?

Eddie: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Malcolm: When you hold your breath till you almost choke, that a little bit of pee comes out.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Karma


Before I begin let me point out that the Karma I am talking about is my dog. She is a cute mostly Cairn Terrier that I rescued several years ago from a shelter. We have a love/hate relationship. Most of the time I love her. But she has her moments, like yesterday. My terrace has a private gated entrance, but there is nothing to separate my apartment entrance from that of the main house except a few bushes. When I am sitting outside, which is often, Karma will go through the bushes and escape the yard area through the driveway. When I am ready to go in, I call her. Usually she will quickly appear at the gate, on the outside. Try as I might, I cannot get her to go back the way she came. She can't seem to figure out how she got there. This has been going on for over a year. So I make the little walk to the gate to let her back in while remarking under my breath at how stupid she is. She really does appear to be stupid, like when she is at a dog park. All the other dogs are chasing the balls or sticks or whatever is being thrown. The pack takes off after the object and Karma takes off too. Only she is not chasing the object, she is chasing the other dogs. The casual observer would believe that she too is chasing whatever the other dogs are chasing. They soon realize their mistake when the object is caught and the dogs stop running. Immediately Karma tucks tail and runs with all her might as if she thinks that they will have seen her following them and will now chase her down and assault her. And this is just one of many examples of why anyone who knows and loves her believe that she is indeed stupid. So getting back to yesterday, she once again had escaped the yard and when I was ready to go in, she appeared outside of the gate. I knew that I would have to make the walk to the gate but I was only wearing socks. I went inside to retrieve my slippers and headed back outside. When I opened the door, there sat Karma on the stoop. It had only taken me a couple of seconds to get the shoes and yet there she was as if she hadn't even had to think about how to get back inside the yard. No doubt the fact that it was 23 degrees out had hastened her return. I could not believe that she had probably known all along how to get back inside. Stupid dog...or maybe stupid me! Hmmmm?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Take A Whiff

One of my favorite memories as a child was going shopping at Sears. I can't remember anything in particular that I ever bought there in the way of clothing or toys, but that wasn't why I loved it. Once upon a time, department stores had candy counters. They sold chocolates and sugared jelly candies among other delicacies. It wasn't the sweets however that lured me to the counter. It was the popcorn. The minute we entered the store the smell of freshly popped corn wafted up from the basement candy counter. My mother usually had the money out before I even asked. I never turned down the opportunity to accompany my mother on her trips to Sears.

Today my daughter and granddaughter accompanied me to Target. As soon as the door opened I was overcome by the mouthwatering aroma of the freshly popped corn. Suddenly I was flooded with memories of Saturday morning shopping trips with my mother. Strange that it took me so long to make the connection, but when I closed my eyes and stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the selling floor it all came back. It was like going home again. If only there had been a candy counter instead of a Starbucks, I would have believed that I had traveled back in time.

Mmmmm, hot, salty, crispy, buttery popcorn!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Waiting


For Alivia my beautiful granddaughter. She doesn't hear as well as some people, but she is certainly not impaired. I pray that others will never see her that way, that they will always see her as the unique, wonder little girl who will someday grown into a very special woman.




Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Ebay

I hate ebayers. I don't hate the people that buy on ebay, it's some of the people that sell. I attend 3 - 4 Broadway shows a month. After the show we wait at the stage door to get our playbills signed by the actors. Without fail, there is always a group of 400 pound men already waiting at the barricades with their Duane Reade bags full of photos, poster and books waiting to get them signed. If the actor(s) are in a charitable mood, they will sign at least some of them. The next day they are for sale on ebay. As often as not though the actors are first greeted by these losers and can't get to the real fans without dealing with them first. It's a lose-lose situation. If they sign the massive amounts of souvenirs presented to them, then they will not reach all of the true fans and theater-goers. If they refuse to sign they are greeted by harassing remarks about how they don't appreciate their fans, making the celebrity look ungrateful. Occasionally, the crowd is small enough to satisfy everyone or the stage door manager can take care of the ebayers quietly.

Tonight I attended American Buffalo. We took a spot at the barricade beside one of these hated people. Soon he was joined by two of his 400 pound friends who literally squeezed in so tightly against me that I was unable to move. Just as I was being squeezed out of my prime spot by one of the "tub of lards" Kevin Spacey, who had gone backstage to see Haley Joel Osment, emerged from the stage door. Moving more quickly than I would have imagined possible, they took off after him in hopes of getting an autograph. Am I evil to have been happy to see that Mr. Spacey never slowed down when they approached him? When they gave up on their quest, it was no longer possible for them to take over my space. They did however, manage to obtain a couple of signed items from Haley, but everyone waiting was able to get their playbills signed and those requesting it got a picture with the stars. Kudos to Haley, John Leguizamo and Cedric the Entertainer, they could not have been nicer to their fans. It's a pity their show is a bomb.

It really is a shame that there is such a lucrative market for celebrity memorabilia. I wish there was some way to force these wolves to get off their fat asses and get a real job.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Apple Pickin'


We have been trying to make it to an apple orchard for several weeks and today we finally made it. One of the many advantages to living in the northeast is being able to drive through the beautiful countryside dressed in fall colors that will take your breath away. Add to that the opportunity to pick apples off a tree instead of off a stack in the produce department and it makes for an amazing day. Getting to the orchard was simple. We fell in love with almost every house we saw as we drove through the villages leading up to it.

Once there, we purchased a bag
for the apples and were given an apple picker to use. Now I am not a big lover of apples, but it broke my heart to see how many apples lay on the ground rotting. I can only imagine how many homeless and hungry children and adults could have feasted off the wasted fruit that lay on the ground. Alivia immediately went to work gathering apples off the ground. It's amazing how many apples a 13 month on a mission can carry. While Erin and I took turns using the picker, Alivia chose two perfectly ripe apples to munch on. I'm not sure what kind of apples we were picking, but one variety was small and dark red and so sweet and juicy that even I had to admit they were damn good. There were some that were a little larger that were not quite as red and some large red and yellow ones.

After about an hour, we were getting cold and tired so we wandered back down the hill and returned to the barn where we bought some old fashioned candy sticks, pumpkin muffins and canned dilly beans. It was a really fun day and we made a great memory.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Fall Has Fallen

Today I did a lesson in science about leaves and matter. It began with a read aloud about leaves and what occurs when leaves change colors. I then read a story to the kids about a leaf that wouldn't let go of the tree. Next we talked about matter and the properties of matter. Students were told that they would given three leaves to look at, touch, smell...after looking at their leaves they would fill out a chart about the properties they observed. Who would have guessed that children who have spent most if not all of their lives in the northeastern part of the United States would have become so excited when they were given their leaves. Most of the charts did not get finished because the children were having too much fun looking at and talking about their leaves. I was in a real leafy kind of mood when I arrived home to discover that the landlord had swept up a huge pile of leaves in front of our apartment. When we got out of the car, Alivia began playing in the wet leaves and the joy on her face was priceless. It amazing how much pleasure children, and adults, can derive from nature.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Crazy For Coffee

I love coffee. I could drink a couple of pots a day, but I limit myself to drinking only in the morning and only 4 cups. I tried giving it up this past summer and was successful until I went on a cruise. The sight and smell of hundreds of people drinking coffee was more than I could stand.

My favorite cup of coffee comes on the day I have to open a new can. It is like a ritual. I scrubbed the pot and filter like no other day. As I remove the foil seal, I have to have my face so close that I can hear the "whoosh" as I lift the seal. The smell of the grounds almost gives me chills. I miss the old days when my coffee of choice, Folger's Columbian, came in a metal can with a metal seal. I am content to use tap water for my coffee on any other day, but on new can day I want it made with bottled water.

I am old fashion in my coffee preferences. I like the plain old stuff. Occasionally I will try a flavored coffee, but good old Columbian with real sugar and Creamora is the best. No blue or pink packet which will leave an after taste. No Coffee Mate or store brand which does not dissolve into a creamy texture will do. Even real cream is not as smooth.

I LOVE coffee!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

It's Over

Halloween is over for another year. Nothing left except a million calories worth of candy. Erin and Steve took Alivia trick-or-treating while I stayed and passed out candy. Actually, I passed out cool pencils with cool erasers and candy. There was this one bunch of kids, older elementary, who came by with their parents. As I put a pencil in each bag, I told the kids to wait that there was candy too. One of the older boys replied, "That's smart that you give the pencils first cause nobody would wait for a pencil, but they would wait for the candy." One of the girls said that her teacher would love me because she never has enough pencils. When I responded that I was a teacher, the first young man immediately went into student mode. "Yeah, I really like the pencil too. I mean the candy is good, but I really like the pencil." Funny moments earlier he said he wouldn't have waited for a pencil. Maybe teachers are the scariest things on Halloween.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween?

I used to love Halloween. When I was a kid, I loved the fact that we always got popcorn balls from Mrs. McKnight at the house on the corner. They were home made, but it was safe to eat things like that back then. I loved acting like the bruised banana we got from the Garcias was just what I wanted even though I never liked bananas. I knew they didn't have much money and Mr. Garcia worked for a produce company.

When I was older, I always spent way too much money on Halloween costumes in order to stand out at the round of parties I attended.

As a mom, I think I spent well over a month planning my daughters' costumes. I usually made them and loved seeing how my hard work paid off when my daughters put them on and looked so cute. I tried to create current characters for whom costumes had not been created (Jem, Strawberry Shortcake, Carebears). If that wasn't possible, I tried to be unique (Winter and Spring).

Halloween of 1992 changed the way I felt about Halloween forever. On the early afternoon of October 30th my family made the decision to remove my father from life support. Four days earlier you would not have known he was ill. But he had a malignant brain tumor and never woke after surgery. I have never been able to accept death easily. No matter what doctors say, I always hold out hope for a miracle. Even though if the decision had been left up to me I would never have agreed to remove the machines, I knew he was not going to recover. I also knew that he would hate to live life that held no quality. My prayer as I stood by my beloved father's bed that day was that God would take him quickly once the machines were turned off and that he would not be in pain. As the day worn on and he hung on I began to realize that Halloween was approaching and I couldn't imagine a worse day to die on. I pleaded with God to take him before midnight. When that didn't happen, I pleaded to give him one more day. One hour and 13 minutes into Halloween, my father slipped away.

I have had a lot of heartache in my life, maybe more than most. But I have never felt like God let me down until that moment. It was a long time before I forgave God, before I could find comfort in prayer. I know that God has a plan for all of us. I know that His wisdom should not be questioned. However, even after 16 years if I were given the chance to ask God one question, it would be, "Why could you not have taken him on another day?"

This year my precious granddaughter went trick or treating for the first time. Her mother bought her costume more than a month ago and had practice runs in it. She reminded me of myself when she was young. Maybe seeing Alivia walk out the gate looking like the cutest little lady bug took a little of the edge off the pain, but I don't think it will ever be "Happy Halloween" again. I miss you Daddy and I look forward to the day that we are reunited.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Reality

Life On The Street


I love New York streets. I don't love driving them, but I love walking them. Tonight we had to run some errands after work and I was starving. On almost every corner is a food vendor. No bag of chips or candy bar when you can get fresh roasted nuts or any one of a dozen ethnic dishes. You can almost buy anything you need in the way of food or clothing without ever leaving the sidewalk. Weather suddenly turn cold, buy a pashmina, hat, gloves, jacket. Sudden downpour, there is an umbrella for sell on every corner. Long before moving to New York I knew that purses, watches, perfume and sunglasses were cheap and easily found on every street. From April through November there are street fairs every weekend. In Texas, where I hail from, a street fair means arts and crafts. In New York it means being able to buy amazing food, fruit, candy apples, knock-off purses, watches, sunglasses, jewelry. There are booths set up to sell socks, sheets, tools and toys imported from China. There's ice cold lemonade, "one dollar, one dollar." There are massage booths and fortune tellers too. Even when I was flat broke I loved being on the street just to watch the sights. There is nothing like a good street performance. The tumblers seem to draw the biggest crowds. I would never walk as far to see, do or buy something anywhere else. It would just be a walk to a destination. In New York, half the fun is getting there.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Price of Celebrity (or meeting them)

Yesterday Brandon, Anthony and I went to the bi-annual Chiller Theater Convention. The boys are heavy into collecting autographed celebrity photos. Brandon has a collection so amazing that it defies description. I go along because it's a fun day and the opportunity to meet some of my favorite stars from the past.

Yesterday started on a low note for me because I had hoped to meet Patty Duke. She had to cancel this week. The boys have been going to these for many years. I am a novice as this was only my third time. But even I knew that things were different this time. In the past I have played the role of place holder in line. While the boys are getting autographs in one line, I hold their place in another. By doing this, we are out of there within 4 hours of the stars arrival. Yesterday the line to get into the pit which is where the largest grouping of stars is was 4 hours long. Then once into the pit the lines began again. Linda Hamilton's line itself
was at least 2 hours. In short, it was 5:00 before we walked out on aching feet in the pouring rain to make the hour drive home. Why do I do this to myself?

As I mentioned before, it really is a fun day out. I met Linda Evans, Morgan Fairchild, Angie Dickenson, Linda Hamilton (truly appreciates her fans), John Schneider, Ralph Macchio, the Sweathogs, Jamie Luner (what a nice person), Barry Williams and Cory Haim (loved him). But I have to say that the highlight of the day was sitting with Ed Asner. He felt like an old
fr
iend. I have no idea why he was not inundated with fans or why he would have the time or desire to ask me to sit with him. It really did make my day. Awwww, I love Lou Grant, but I hate the picture.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

My friend Maria had a birthday last week. For her birthday, several friends pitched in to buy her dinner and take her to a show. We decided to have dinner at Carmines, which is a story itself, and then we went to see "13".

Have you ever been in a situation where you get tickled about something at an inappropriate moment and start laughing? The harder you try not to laugh, the harder you laugh. There is a very serious moment near the end of the show when one of the characters yells something at another character like, "You're stupid!" The man beside Albert. one of my friends says, in a not very quiet voice, "Ooooooooo, not nice." All five of us begin to laugh. Fortunately we are not laughing hard enough for the actors to hear us, but the patrons around us certainly could. As I am just getting over a sore throat, this throws me into a coughing fit. After what feels like a good 5 minutes, Maria takes the bottle of water from me and kind of shakes it in my face. After emptying the bottle, I am finally able to stop. Then another actor blurts out another unkind comment. Again, "Ooooooooo, not nice." That was it. I couldn't stop laughing and coughing and Eric was laughing so hard he hard tears streaming down his face. After about ten minutes with my head throbbing and my side feeling like it was in a vice, the laughing subsided.

As miserable as we were at the time, when we left the theater, we were all in the best mood. I can't remember when I have laughed that hard or for that long. But afterwards it felt good. Laughter really is the best medicine.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Miss My Mommy

Four years ago, I had a series of back surgeries. I spent four months in bed either awaiting surgery or recovering from surgery. Most of those four months were not spent alone in bed. My mother whose health was not great, made the hour drive to lie in bed with me getting up only when one of us needed something. As we lay there we watched way too much TV, but the Scott Peterson trial was taking place. We did some needlework. We worked on jewelry. We played with our cell phones taking funny pictures of each other. Despite the pain and inconvenience, it is one of my best memories of my mother. We actually managed to have fun. I could write a book about that time.

Tomorrow I will have been sick for two weeks. My throats hurts, my head is pounding, my eyes hurt, my nose is runny and I can't stop coughing. I have been running a fever for the past three days. Since I'm the kind of teacher that seldom takes off when I am sick, I have worked every day. For anyone who is worried about the poor children who are getting exposed I ask, "Where do you think I got it?"

Everyone keeps telling me the secret to getting well. Chicken soup, tea and honey, over-the-counter everything, going to the doctor (hmmm, interesting). I know what would make me well. 1) I have to keep up the fluids 2) I need to get more rest 3) I have to just let it run its course. In a few more days I expect to be well again.

I would have been well a week ago though if I could have picked up the phone and called my mother when I got sick. She would have to me to buy some Contact, Mentholatum, and cranberry juice. Then she would have told me to drink lots of fluids and get lots of rest. She would have reminded me to get my flu shot. She would have told me that I work too hard and worry too much. It really isn't any different from what everyone else said and from what I have been doing. The only difference is that I need to hear it from her. Aren't most people that way though. It doesn't matter how old you are, when you are sick, you want your mother. So I guess the best I can do is to curl up on the bed with my comforter, close my eyes and listen to the voice in my head.

Gee, I really miss my mother.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Class Reunion



Today the W.B. Ray High School class of 1973 is celebrating without me. I have never missed a reunion and would not have missed this one if it had not been for a doctor appointment that I could not miss. Ironically, his office called yesterday to tell me that the appointment would have to be rescheduled. I think people either really love reminiscing about high school or they really hate it. I love it. I don't think that I am the type of person that needs to make sure everyone knows how successful I have become. After all, I am a teacher and I'm not sure that teaching qualifies as really successful. I just love catching up with the people who played significant roles in what is supposed to be the "best years of my life." To say that I was never a serious student would be a gross understatement and I am pretty sure that most of my graduating class knew it. It is made obvious by the looks on their faces when I tell them that I have a master's degree in education and am just a dissertation away from a PhD. Most find it hard to believe that I am a teacher and even harder to believe that I did time as a middle school assistant principal. They are not unkind in their remarks, just surprised. Due to the fact that I could not attend, some old friends have contacted me via email to find out why I am in New York and what I have been up to. After replying to a few, I decided to compose a brief synopsis of my life since high school especially the part about leaving Texas. After sending it out into cyber space I went back and read it. I think I have now told my former classmates that I am doing well professionally, have a wonderful family, a job that I love, live in the most exciting city in the world, and oh yeah I am a lesbian! I'm not a lesbian, but my little essay sure makes it sound like I am.

A couple of days ago I decided that since I could not actually attend, I would send something. I called my favorite bakery in Corpus Christi and ordered a cake to be delivered to the party. When I explained to the salesperson that it was for a reunion that I was not going to be able to attend, she replied, "You know what they say about reunions? If you don't show they are going to talk about you." Well thanks to my failure to proofread, they should have a lot to talk about. I guess the only solution is to meet the man of my dreams and get married in the next five years. Watch out men of Manhattan! I am a woman on a mission.

We're the best you'll ever see. We're the class of '73!

Winter Is Just Around the Corner

Last night we had a significant drop in the temperature. I love winter and all that goes with it, winter coats, boots, pashminas and snow. My students benefited from my good mood brought on by the lower temp. We spent the end of the day sitting on the carpet eating cookies as I read to them and we shared favorite memories about winter. I told them how excited I was about experiencing my first, first snow of the year three winters ago. I also told them about the little rhyme I made up when I learned first hand what happens when you step on a frozen grate. My first winter in New York I was walking home on a cold Friday evening. It was during 5:00 rush foot traffic. I was wearing a dress. Suddenly I found myself doing the splits as two gentlemen rushed to my aid and got me to my feet. I tried to avoid that route for a few weeks lest someone recognize me. Regardless, I still love winter in New York.

Two, four, six, eight - Do not step on a frozen grate

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

OMG! I went to a book signing tonight for Maureen McCormick. As I waited in line, I relayed to my friend how The Brady Bunch helped me flunk out of college. Way back in the 70's I was enrolled in a little community college. I started every day by going to the student center for tater tots and a coke. As I waited in line, I could see reruns of The Brady Bunch. After completing my purchase I settled into a comfy chair to finish watching the episode. Unfortunately the show didn't end until 15 minutes after my class started. I couldn't seem to tear myself away to go to class. After a couple of weeks, I didn't even pretend that I was going to class. I just drove to campus, ordered my unhealthy breakfast and plopped down in front of the television. While I watched the Brady kids making all the right decisions a dutiful child would make, I made the decision to go against everything my parent wanted for me. Soon the school invited me not to return for another semester. Who would have guessed that Marcia/Maureen would soon be starting her days with "coke" too.


The good news is both Maureen and I got it together eventually and are both happy with our lives. So, thanks Brady Bunch where would I be without you.

These Boots Aren't Made For Walking

I love boots. Cowboy boots, biker boots, dress boots, rain boots... Unfortunately, most boots do not love me. That doesn't stop me from owning and wearing them. One of the reasons I love New York is that everyone wears boots.

Monday I began working on my semi-anual clothing exchange. Spring/summer clothes go into storage. Fall/winter clothes come out. As I sat unloading my boots I started doing some math. I put my boots on just before I walk out the door heading for work. Fifteen minutes later I arrive. It takes about ten minutes to sign in, say hello to a few folks, unlock my door, put away my things, pull off my boots and put on my "teaching shoes". By this point I have worn the boots for about 1/2 an hour. At the end of the day, I put the boots back on and unless I am going out, they are off again in twenty minutes. On the average, I wear them about an hour a day.

Tonight I am going out, the boots will stay on for a few painful (stylish) hours. By 10:00 I will work hard to cover the fact that my feet are killing me. I will try to manuver my feet, while encased in their beatiful prison, in an effort to relieve some of the uncomfortable pressure. It won't have much affect. Tomorrow and the rest of the week I will wear my comfortable flats while my feet recover. Next week I will return to wearing my favorites boots and I will enjoy looking down, for at least an hour a day.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Alivia Day

I love spending time with my granddaughter but she can be challenging. On Saturday her mother had to work and I had friends in from Texas. I had promised to watch Alivia on the occasional days when Erin works and I also promised to be tour guide. So we packed up everything Ali would need for the day and set out for Manhattan and for what promised to be a long and exhausting day.

Perfect is not sufficient to describe how she behaved. From a trip on the Staten Island Ferry to a walk through the financial district to a trip uptown and to Central Park, she never whined or cried. We ate lunch on a bench and she laughed when the pigeons attacked the fries she dropped. She squealed when the ferry vibrated and did God knows what to her hearing aids. She pointed at things she wanted me to see because she has started to notice things on her own. My only regret is forgetting my camera in the car. Thank God I do not have to regret missing this wonderful day with my beautiful, sweet bundle of energy. It was a perfect first outing without mom. I loved every minute of it. We just may have to do this next week.

The Reality


BEST OF FRIENDS

When I was imagining what my life in New York would be like, it included a gay best friend who would live above me, share my fire escape and know all the best places to shop. Close. Brandon doesn't live above me, but he pretty much fulfills all the other requirements for the perfect New York best friend. I didn't even know he was gay for several months, so it wasn't as if I pursued the friendship to meet the requirement. It is because of him that I know all the best places to shop, see at least 3 shows a month, know how to get cheap tickets and have had over 100 celebrity encounters. Sometimes he drives me crazy, gives me too much information about things I probably don't need to know about and is way to organized. On the other hand, he saw to it that I didn't spend my first Thanksgiving alone and he even got Erin a part time position as a production assistant with his theater group so that she could take a short break from mommying each week and yesterday he turned me on to dim sum. So when you do the math, turns out it's better than I had imagined. Thanks Brandon!








Me and Christine Baranski
We look like we could be best friends



Friday, October 10, 2008

The Reality

THE APARTMENT


The truth is that everything you've ever believed about New York is not true.

It is expensive to live here.

My first apartment was about 400 square feet and cost $2000 a month. It was in Hell's Kitchen. It was a 5th floor walkup. It was four blocks from the subway. You really have to live in New York to understand that one. It was around the corner from where all those clip-clopping horses that pull the carriages in Central Park at all hours are stabled. It was a block from the cruise ship harbor with their bone rattling horns. But..


It was in Manhattan. It bordered the theater district. Five flights of stairs is great for the waistline. Okay there's no getting around the four block walk to the train. But the horse stables were located close to Central Park which means I was too. There was a dog park across the street for Karma and deli on the corner that had the best breakfast for next to nothing.


With all its faults and advantages, the fact is I was just grateful to have it. I have Elyse to thank for helping me return to my dream of living in New York, but I have Erin to thank for finding an apartment. While we were searching I kept remembering an episode of "Friends" when Ross was checking the obituaries for an apartment. I wish it was that easy. I began my search by contacting an agent. He showed me a tiny studio/efficiency for $1700 and wanted $4000 to lease it to me. I decided I could do better with Craigs List, a newspaper and a membership to an online apartment locator. What I found was that in New York, "open house" means getting in line an hour before it starts and knowing that if you are not first in line you will not get the apartment. I couldn't believe what people would fight for; an apartment so small that a twin bed would not fit in the only room, an apartment where you could cook while sitting on the toilet, an apartment where the 15 year old kid on the stoop has a key to every apartment in the building and would be happy to let you in. My daughter managed to talk a maintenance man into showing her an apartment the day before the open house, she convinced me that I should call the leasing agent and tell them that I would take it, sight unseen. I did and truth be told, I wish I was still there. I know I will eventually return to the city and go through it all again. For now I am content with my basement in the Bronx.









Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Life After 50

It feels like I have lived several lives, but I didn't start living until 2 1/2 years ago. This is how is all started.

Long before I actually left for New York, I was imagining what my life would be like. I thought about everything from where I would live, to what my apartment would be like, to how I would dress and who my friends would be.
I saw myself living in a combination of Meg Ryan’s apartments from Kate and Leopold and You’ve Got Mail. Like Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffanys, there would be a fire escape on which I could gain access to the apartment below or above where my gay male best friend lived. I would have a stoop where I would sit on summer days. My apartment would be on an upper floor, because unlike apartments in Texas which are seldom more than 2 stories high, it would have an elevator. It would be located on the east side, midtown, although, Gramercy Park or Chelsea would be okay. There would be a great deli on the corner and a small grocery store with a wonderful produce section across the street. The subway would not be on my block, but not more than two blocks away. A wonderful old couple who had been married forever would live across the hall from me. They would teach me everything I needed to know about living in New York. In exchange, I would pick up a few things for them when I ran errands or help them get to their occasional appointment. They would invite me for dinner once a week, and sometimes there would be a single friend they wanted me to meet.
Due to the fact that I would be taking as little as possible with me to New York, I would for the most part have to purchase a whole new wardrobe. Everything I bought would be totally New York, although I wasn’t sure exactly what that was. When I returned to Texas for an occasional visit I would feel totally conspicuous in my new clothes. I would never wear less than a two-inch heels unless I was running Saturday morning errands or taking Kharma to the dog park. I would of course have a purse to match every pair of shoes. Best of all, I would own multiple coats. I have as most people in South and Central Texas always owned three coats; a raincoat, a long coat and a short coat in neutral colors. My first coat purchase would be either cobalt blue or red.
My new friends would not be unlike most of the friends I have now, but there would be much more exciting things to do with them, going to; the ballet, the theatre, weekend trips, happy hours at places with great atmosphere. As a result of all the evening outings, my evening wear would outnumber my day wear for the first time in my life. I would even find it necessary to own an extensive wardrobe of high-heel shoes and dress coats in an array of colors.
I found it increasingly difficult to fall asleep at night with this romantic vision of my new life dancing in my head. The only thing that stood between my and this exciting new life was 2000 miles.
“Why,” I ask myself, “would a 52 year old woman whose whole life has been lived according to Murphy’s Law want to sell everything she owns and move 2,000 miles away from family and friends. Why move to a place she has only visited twice and one of those visits had been 30 years ago.”
The first time I visited New York City, I was 21 years old. A traveling companion for a friend of my mother’s whose own children had no desire to see the world. Lucky me. I didn’t know it then, but I realize it now, that I was seeing the city, not through the eyes of a tourist, but through the eyes of a future resident. I even told Clara, the lady I was traveling with, that I wanted to live here someday. She responded with something like, “Your mother would kill me.” But anyhow, I wasn’t so much interested in seeing the Statue of Liberty of the Empire State Building as I was in watching the people. Anyone who has ever spent much time in New York or who lives there can spot a tourist a mile away. They stroll. They stop mid-sidewalk. They look up. They walk side-by-side blocking the sidewalk. They don’t have to have a camera in their hand or a subway map to stand out as a tourist. So it was easy to pick out the residents, and to watch them. There was just something about New Yorkers that I was drawn to. I wanted to be one of them.
Almost 30 years later, my youngest daughter gets accepted to Fordham University and the dream was alive again. So I applied for a teaching position. When I told my Elyse, my daughter, that the New York City Department of Education was interested in interviewing me, she told me in no uncertain terms that if I moved to New York, she would stay in Austin. Apparently the reason for applying to schools that are 2.000 miles from home is to be on your own, not have your mother follow you. She did permit me to visit, once. I spent a week in March visiting her. Almost from the moment we set foot outside the hotel the first morning, the old feeling came back. Some people might think that the week’s worth of freezing rain and snow might have convinced me that New York was not such a great place to live. It didn’t.
I was secretly thrilled when my daughter decided to come home after her freshman year. I knew she was miserable there. But, just because she was back in Texas did not mean the DOE was no longer interested in me. In fact they were sending someone to Austin and wanted to interview me. I went. They offered me a job. I accepted it.
A dream 30 years in the making was about to come true. I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen. What did happen was what I should have expected. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. At the end of the year when a normal people would be packing their bags and heading home, I was looking to stay.
 
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