Thanksgiving Eve

Thanksgiving it seems has become a day of firsts for me. Three years ago was the first Thanksgiving I had ever spent without my family. They were in Texas and I was in New York. A dear friend invited me to spend the day with him and his family. They live in Yonkers and are Puerto Rican/Chinese. The meal was interesting and delicious, but it didn't seem like Thanksgiving. Last year was my first Thanksgiving as a grandmother and the first without my mother either in person or on the other end of the phone telling how to prepare my food. It was only made bearable by the presence of my daughters and granddaughter. This Thanksgiving will be the first year that Elyse will not be with family and only the second time that I have not been with her. I plan to cook a meal for 10 even though there will only be 3 1/2 of us. The meal will be minus a few of the standards, but will include macaroni and cheese, a new tradition added last year in honor of Alivia. This year she will even get to eat it. I am hoping that by spending the day in the kitchen I will not have time to dwell on the people in my life that I am missing. I am hoping that I will focus on the things I have to be thankful for; a healthy family, a job, living in a place I love, good friends and I am for the most part healthy. I am writing this tonight so I can feel sad now and hopefully not tomorrow, because tomorrow is Happy Thanksgiving!